I knew the moment the words left my mouth I was making a mistake...still I proceeded with my plans.
It was already 5:30, so I knew there was no way that I would be able to go before her school closed. I get to the school and am greeted by a smelly, crazy haired, spaghetti stained toddler who started whining the moment she saw me (apparently she was not ready to go home). As soon as we get to the door to leave she says "juice?" shit, i forgot the juice. I open the door, she runs out, I chase her down and grab her hand, she cries and tells me "no no". I go to put her in the car, and she cries, I give her a book and she asks for fish (fisss) and her baby. I don't have any fisss, but I hand her the baby and close the car door....she whines until i get around to the driver's seat and start the car. I roll my eyes the whole way to Publix knowing I’m in for a real treat.
In the Publix parking lot she decides she wants to walk herself, so it takes us five minutes to get to the door. She doesn't want to sit in the buggy, she wants to push it. I throw her screaming patootie in buggy and we proceed shopping. Everything we pass she wants it. I give it to her and she wants to hold it, then have it opened, and then eat it. No, you can't drink this until we get home, you can't open those strawberries, you can't eat the banana until we get to the car, quit biting the loaf of bread, quit poking the hamburger meat, stop throwing my keys out of the cart, and i thought i told you to leave the bread alone. Somewhere in between all of my "no's" someone gives her a pink balloon...asshole thank you so much. Get the balloon out of my face, no you can't un-tie the balloon, DON'T BITE THE BALLOON!
The rest of the trip went like this until we made it to the checkout line. As I’m unloading all the food she demands to get down and screams at me that she wants a "nana". I throw the bananas at the clerk and say ring these up (oh God, I’m such a bitch) then I take one and peel it and hand it to Libby. She takes a bite then starts to cry and hold out her other hand...she wants to hold the peel too. I give her the whole thing while she bounces around like a sweet little angel smiling at everyone she sees. Meanwhile I have a forehead full of sweat, a bad attitude, and a cart full of grocery bags that I refuse to let the nice man help me take out to my car. To make it worse, Libby refused to get back in the cart so it took us five minutes to get back to the car with one hand holding hers and the other pushing the cart.
I remember Tad asking me what's for dinner and I told him
i am laughing. out loud. sorry. i'm sure there was not a second of funnies that day at the store. it's funny because i can picture the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteokay... i kno you have WAY more stories... how hard can it being raising two children under the age of two?? c'mon.
ReplyDeletelol jkkk. miss you
You just wrote about my child. Seriously, from the whining to the juice to the fish to the bananas....day in and day out. Is it bad that sometimes I dread going to get her from daycare b/c it's so stressful? Ha.
ReplyDelete