Beverage Blunders

If Libby had a super power, it would be creating messes in a way you never knew was possible. This week has been the week of “Liquid Mishaps”.

Sunday:
Libby had been gone all weekend with Tad’s parents in Augusta. They brought her back that night and while we were getting things ready for bed, Tad was putting some things in the garage and I was eating an orange in the kitchen cleaning the living room. I walked into the bedroom and immediately noticed that my half cup of day old coffee was spilled all over my night stand. (Since Libby had been gone all weekend I had already gotten used to leaving things out that she would normally get into.) I got a rag and started cleaning up the mess when Tad said “What is this?” pointing to the wall ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM. We both go up to it; Tad smells it and says “Smells like vanilla?” I smell it and say “Dammit”. It was coffee, a four foot spray of coffee all over the wall. I stood their staring at it confused; Tad starting asking where the coffee came from and my face went white. Suddenly the conversation shifted from the coffee on the wall to “If you just cleaned up after yourself…” I looked at Libby and suddenly wished that she could talk and that she would say “Daddy, I’m sorry. It was my fault, don’t blame Mommy”. But instead she gave me a goofy little smile and looked back at Tad; as if she was enjoying this little hand slap I was receiving. I ran to the kitchen and got a sponge and starting cleaning off the wall while Tad got a towel and started cleaning the coffee sprinkled carpet. It was so uncomfortably quiet; all you could hear was the scrubbing. And then...you heard tears, the tears of a pregnant woman sitting in the floor with a sponge in her hand looking helplessly at her bedroom wall as she noticed that she has in fact “sponged” away a small portion of actual paint. A small white circle starred me in the eye as light brown stains danced around it.
The wall is in fact stained; Tad has mentioned this every time he walks past it.

Monday:
I cleaned the house from top to bottom Monday, sweeping and mopping the floors, dusting corners, washing windows (okay, maybe not), scrubbing sinks, the works. By seven that night I was TIRED! And I was really tired of drinking Libby’s imaginary tea (that she was spilling everywhere), playing with Dora’s Castle Hacienda, reading “Good night Gorilla” (that has two pages missing), and listening to “Hip Hop Snowman”. The only upside of being pregnant is “frequent trips to the bathroom”. I had been holding it now for thirty minutes (which is like 5 hours in pregnant woman time) and had finally gotten Libby content enough to slip away for two minutes of uninterrupted pee me time. No sooner than I had sat down, Libby pushed the door open smiling at me with a can of unopened Pepsi in one hand. As I reached out to grab it (still sitting on the commode) she dropped it. The can fell to the floor and immediately started spewing everywhere. I stopped midstream to pick the swirling can off the freshly mopped floor and put it in the sink, coke ricocheted off the porcelain in the air getting coke on the mirror and back on the floor so instinctively I take it out of the sink and lower it into the toilet. I start screaming for Tad, where in the hell is he? He runs to the bathroom to find Libby sitting playing in Pepsi and me pants down with my hand in the toilet. His response “What are you doing?”
It is Wednesday and my socks are still sticking to the linoleum.
*Pictures will follow*